Thursday, 1 May 2014

Not Always Easy

Being a stay at home mum with 26 month old twins is not easy.

People have a preconceived conception that stay at home mums have it easy. That we sit around drinking coffee, watching day time tv and the children are always smiling and happy.

That is not the way it is. I never see daytime tv. It is always Mickey Mouse, Sheriff Callie, Peppa Pig or Thomas. I enjoy a coffee when the twins have their nap, that is my treat! It is not all smiles and laughs!

Having one toddler who is finding their way can be hard, with twins it can be exhausting.

One winds the other up, then the screaming begins.

One doesn't listen and the other finds it hilarious so the not listening carries on because they find it funny.

One goes in one direction, the other the opposite way.

They are competing to see who is the more dominant twin and don't I know it!

Isabella is certainly the more vocal twin, which makes life easier as she can tell me what she wants or what is wrong. Taylor, on the other hand, is getting frustrated as he knows what he wants but cannot tell me as well as Isabella can. When he gets frustrated he will scream and shout and stamp his feet. When he gets like this is can go on for what seems like an eternity. This is what is wearing me out at the moment. He is extremely clingy with me so he won't go to his daddy when he is like this it is me that has it, without a break.

The majority of the time, I carry on, but today I had a melt down.

Today I broke and the tears came.

Being a stay at home mum is hard because you do not get a break. You are "working" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Please do not get me wrong I would not change our lives, ok I'd like a little less screaming, but I am so thankful that I am able to be a stay at home mum.

I get to enjoy seeing their "firsts" in life, I get to bring our children up.

But it is hard raising twins when times are challenging. However I do think that it is easier in some respects as they have each other to play with which gives me time to do jobs.

But I am exhausted and am so in need of a break. Part of me feels bad that I feel like this. I am sat here looking at my two beautiful children, playing together, talking and laughing and I think how can they drive me to tears. I love them so very much but at times they do drive me crackers and I keep reminding myself that their tantrums are just them discovering their emotions and how to handle them.

The terrible/terrific twos have arrived. I prefer to call the the terrible/terrific twos as there are so many terrific times! For every "terrible" moment like I've had this morning there are hundreds of "terrific" happy times, full of smiles and laughs. It is the terrific times that I cling onto!

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  1. Aww! Hugs!! The terrible twos with one was sometimes bad enough never mind two x

  2. Aww I melt down with just one 19 month old so can only imagine how difficult it must be at times with twins!

    It WILL get easier...(well that's what I tell myself!)

  3. Hats off to you. I know that parenting is a real challenge and I can not image that being times two. I am sure you do a great job. I find that parenting is all highs and lows and no in between.

  4. Staying at home is the hardest job in the world! I used to work full time and then when my second arrived I decided to set up my own business and work from home. My boys go to nursery 3 days a week and even then, I find the days I'm at home with them a million times harder than when I used to work in an office.

    And you have twins, I can't imagine what that's like.....?!

    Everyone always tells me it gets better as they get older, I'm hanging onto this one!


  5. I know how you feel each and everyday but its so worth it .x

  6. I can't imagine how tough it is with twins, my 2 and 4 year old are hard work and exhausting. Just remember how good the good times are!

  7. It must be hard with twins!

  8. I have been a stay at home mum for 17 years now and if I had a £1 for every time someone says "what do you do all day" I would be loaded. Keep up the great work hunny xxx

  9. Big hugs - handling one toddler is hard enough, but two?! Super mum! xx

  10. i have 7 from 4 to 12 and they are still in the terrible twos infact i think its getting worse lol x

  11. I have my days where i break as well. I couldn't imagine it with twins! x

  12. Ah hun, I don't know how you do it. One breaks me sometimes. I have the perfect break for you - you should come to BritMums..... :) x

  13. I find that being at home with my little one is the most wonderful thing but it has taken me time to accept that it restricts me in other ways. The exhaustion definitely gets to me and it can be lonely too but it is the best thing to be able to care for your own child. Having twins is double the fun but also double the trouble! I really admire parents of multiples as you are truly a superwoman x

  14. Hats off to you having 2 children 18 months apart at home was difficult enough for me.

  15. I have a 4 and 2 year old and one due in June...and I know just how you feel with the terrible twos as it's my second time through it. The good news is you DO get through it. I'm preparing to be outnumbered in June! I'm very glad not to be the only one who never gets to see daytime TV! At least we know what's going down in the Wild West ;)

  16. *hugs* I don't have children but can't imagine it being an easy job with one let alone two :) x

  17. 2 year olds are such hard work! I find it hard with my one who is 2 and all his irrationality so I can't imagine what's it like with 2!! Hope you get a bit of a break this weekend.

  18. I'm a SAHM mum too and it is hard. My son has special needs and it is non stop. We have good days and bad days but I would hate to go back to my old job and leave this behind - the job would be much easier!

  19. I understand where you are coming from. My youngest of three is 26 months. She can be a handful at times. I also have 2 older boys. the oldest has severe tourettes and anxiety disorder (he is very demanding, and will soon be homeschooled). I am a SAHM too and I have to blog to keep myself sane. Life is hard but I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my children but I do have plenty of meltdowns. Just keep smiling and look to the positive. :)
    I found your blog on #willynilly on twitter.

  20. I have a screecher at the moment and it drives me insane, so i don't envy you with two. Being a SAHM is hard work and you don't get appreciated but its not a job in itself in my opinion

  21. Having a little one is hard. I admire you for having 2 at home. I have a little boy who has hit his terrible 2's and sometimes it can get very tiring tell him no. I think you should give yourself a huge pat on the back, you clearly are doing a great job xx

  22. I totally understand where you're coming from. Mine can still drive me to tears now and they're 14, 8 and 6. It used to be the tantrums that got to me and now it's the constant bickering. I have to keep telling myself I'll soon be missing the noise like my mum does now we've all grown up and moved out!

  23. I am not a twin mum, but boy oh boy can I relate to the post, in the sense of SAHM not being easy. I rarely get to finish my coffee. I used to have a demanding executive job on a great salary, doing 60 hours a week and this is way harder. I think the bit that is the toughest is when I realise he is in the driving seat not me. Like last night, when he went to sleep at midnight. I know Gina Ford style Mums would say it's my fault but whatever it is, it is full-on and hard work, way harder than working, but like you, I would not swap it for all the tea in China (and I love tea, LOL) says she with one right beside her right now. I am hoping he will have an early night tonight.
    Good on ya surviving with twins. Sorry about the meltdown *hugs*.
    Liska xx

  24. It's not easy at all with one so I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you with two x x

  25. Never feel bad for wanting time out and to feel you. Raising kids for SAHM's and working mums is so tough, tiring and draining as much as it's wonderful and what you are doing is amazing but I always believe happy mum, happy kids and that means rested, fed, relaxed mum so never feel bad about putting you first and getting some down time too when you can. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts

  26. Hayden's 24 months not too far behind the twins. I agree with this post 110%
    Its hard work, I couldn't imagine having 2 Hayden's I think I would pass out haha.
    You are doing an amazing hunny

    Lotte xo
    Berice Baby – London Lifestyle & Kids Fashion Blog


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