Thursday, 12 September 2013

Dear Grandad

I now feel as ready as I'll ever be to write this post. I'm hoping that it will help me on my grieving process and enable me to begin to move on.
So here goes........

Dear Grandad,

Two weeks ago you left us.
You left us all heart broken and left a huge empty space in our lives.
You had fought the evil disease cancer for so long. I even think that you had hidden the level of your suffering until we all knew the true extent of it. Once we all knew, you gave in to it, too tired and exhausted to fight any more.
We were just starting to try and get our heads around the thought that we only had months left with you. Little did we know we would only have 9 days.
We had so much planned for the next few months. We had Joseph's 9th birthday to celebrate, we had the twins christening to celebrate, we had dads 60th birthday to celebrate and most of all we had Christmas to celebrate together as a whole family. We were going to make this Christmas such a special one.
We will never celebrate all of these together as a whole family.
That has all been stolen from us.
You have been stolen from us.
I still cannot truly believe that you have gone.
When nanna rings, the telephone still flashes up as "Nanna and Grandad", when we go round I still expect to hear you call out "Hello!", I still expect to wake up and it has all been a horrible nightmare.
But, I know that this is not true.
You have gone.
I was by your side when you took your last breath, I told you to sleep tight. I am pleased that your suffering is over but that does not make me miss you any less. You have always been there and I will always miss you.
Today I saw you for the last time. You looked at peace, your pain had gone.
Tomorrow we will lay you to rest.
I am not going to say goodbye. I am just going to say good night.
Goodbye seems so final. I like to believe that you have gone to another place. You are watching over us.
Tomorrow is going to be such a hard day. We will all make you proud and will be there by nanna's side and give her all the support that we can.
Grandad, may you rest in peace. Everyone has said that you were always such a gentleman, they were right. You were a very special man who will never be forgotten.

Grandad, you'll always be missed
but will forever be in our
hearts, thoughts and memories
Love you always
Good night, Love you, God bless
xxxxx

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