It is that time of year. At last, it's back to school day!!!
Please don't get me wrong. It has been lovely to have Joseph at home but the last week has been a tough one and it is going to be nice to have a routine to set my mind to.
This morning Joseph was absolutely full of beans! He was so excited to go back to school and see all of his friends. I am lucky to be able to say, so far, touch wood, I have never had a problem getting Joseph to go to school. He was up and ready to go!
This morning I took him to school in the car so that me and the twins could continue on out to do a spot of shopping. I decided to be brave and park near to school and walk down with the twins holding my hands. They were little stars! I felt so proud of them they both held my hand and walked to the playground, they stood with me whilst we watched Joseph go into school. They even waved to him which was so adorable to see. I looked at them and realised that just over the 6 weeks holidays they have developed so much and are learning about the world around them. I think that they will miss Joseph a bit. I know that I will miss having a little helper around!
After we had a steady walk back to the car off we went to have a walk around the shops and buy a few bits. I had not planned to go out this morning but our chickens have got red mites so we needed something to clean their coop. It was hubby's idea for me to go out. Admittedly I wasn't keen to start with but once we got out I felt so much better. It was lovely to just be out with the twins, strolling around and forgetting all of my worries. After a bad nights sleep the fresh air has done me the world of good! Sometime I think my hubby knows what I need more than I know myself!
I have been trying to keep myself busy to keep my mind off things. This is ok for a while and then something will make me think of my grandad or remind me of him and I go crashing down. But each day that goes by I am having less of these moments. This doesn't mean its getting easier, it just means that I am learning to cope better with my grief. However I know the hardest day is yet to come. So until then I will continue as I am and tackle that hurdle when it comes.
As we all keep saying, one day at a time.
Thankfully, today has started well.