Today's post is a hard one for me, I don't talk much about some things but certainly find writing easier.
Last night as I was settling down to sleep I realised what date it was, 3rd July, the anniversary of losing someone who was/is very special to me and played a bit part in helping helping me to become the person I am today.
3 years ago we lost Anita to an degenerative neurological disorder (brain disease) CJD (Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease). This is an incurable disease which is caused by the progressive death of the brains nerve cells. I was told that Anita had this in the May of 2010 and by July it had taken her. When Anita died she was at at her happiest, she had recently married the love of her life after years being in an unhappy one and was finally living as she wanted to.
Anita was like a second mother to me. She took me under her wing during some of my darkest times and helped me find myself. During this time I was living in Gran Canaria. Anita came to my help after a near fatal accident and from that day on she was always there for me as a mother figure. 3 months after my accident I discovered I was 5 months pregnant, Anita was the person who I turned to for support. She never let me down. Anita was by my side, encouraging me to push, when I went into labour with Joseph and was naturally his God mother the day he was christened.
Once Joseph was 6 months old I returned to England but never lost contact with Anita. I had various trips out to see her and she also came and visited us.
Anita always said how proud she was of the person that I had become, I only wish she was here now to see how much further both me and Joseph have come. I wish she was here on the day I married james, or to see and cuddle Isabella and Taylor. She would have been overjoyed.
Losing Anita the way we did certainly does make you look at life and appreciate everything you have got, and I do not mean material items, I mean health, happiness, family and love. Anita always told me I should write so in a way I feel that this blog is a start for me.
RIP Anita, you were my guardian angel when you were here and I know that you are up there watching over us now, when the twins are bigger we will tell them about you and what a special person you were. We will look for the brightest star in the sky and know that you are there.
Miss you always xxxxx